My Energy Healing Journey
Written by Maureen Funke
The healing journey that is my life, began with acupuncture in 2006. While I have always been a spiritual person and lifelong Chiropractic believer (family of Chiros) I did not practice holistic healing until this time. Since then between acupuncture, Chinese medicine, qigong and meditation I have experienced physical, emotional and mental healing.
I came to Qigong (chee-gong) in 2009 while pregnant with my 2nd of 3 daughters. My 1st daughter and I had a bit of a complicated time during her hospital birth in 2007, so for my 2nd birth I desperately wanted to stay home! About half way through my pregnancy my midwife pointed out to me that my stress and repressed anger may cause me to shut down during labor/birth and send me back to the hospital. Nope. Nope… this was not going to be me! So I asked her what to do. She said “I don’t know… ask your acupuncture guy.”. So I did. “Dr. Schwarz, how do I release repressed anger?”. He said “I’m not sure but go see Shirley (Pagano) she can probably help you”. And so in March of 2009 off I went to see Shirley for my first energy healing ever.
During this hour long Qigong energy healing my perspective shifted, spirit rejoined my body, peripheral vision increased, rage released, I enjoyed a safe, peaceful and remarkably uneventful homebirth with my 2nd daughter. In the following years Shirley led me though many healing sessions, journeys and experiences ranging from deeply relaxing to totally mind blowing. Perhaps the most pivotal experience of my life was six months after a healing session.
Sometime during the spring of 2013 my father had come to visit the girls (I now had three daughters). It was a nice visit but due to past conditioning and experiences I was expecting both of us to be awkward, stressful, distant or unforgiving in some way. A life long alcohol addiction had unfortunately clouded large parts of our relationship. Though for some reason, to my great surprise, this was not the case. I sat and looked on in amazement as my father, the manly, strong, athletic and discerning type, played Candyland with my two daughters (the third was just a baby). I marveled at what a wonderful grandfather he was!!! A feeling of joy washed over me. We had a lovely visit which ended on a note of love and understanding. A new perspective, a new part of our relationship, and his with my daughters, was awakened.
Not soon after he left I called Shiley and told her what happened. She said “Oh, yes, I know. You forgave him.” I said “Um… I’m not sure, I don’t think so.”. She said “Yes, during your last healing session (six months prior) you forgave him.”. I exclaimed “When were you going to tell me about this?!?”. Shirley - “Wuji told you when you were ready to receive the message”. Wow. Mind Blown. Again. My father and I had a complicated relationship for pretty much most of my life. But in this moment, in this new perspective that all washed away!!! As much as it washed away I didn’t quite know if I should talk to my father about this. Anyway… over a year later during a summer vacation we finally had the opportunity.
While sitting quietly with busy, energetic kids at 5:30am… my Dad grabbed his coffee and sat beside me at the dining room table. He said “you know, I need to tell you that I’m sorry”. I said “ for what?”. “For everything, but mostly for my behavior at your wedding (in 2006)”, he said. I said “Oh my gosh, I forgave you for that and everything else a while ago, please don’t carry that with you!”. As a child of an alcoholic I really had zero expectations of our relationship ever, especially at my wedding. It was a normal course that I would sort of have to block parts of it out. In full disclosure, other than being drunk and boisterous nothing bad happened… but it wasn’t all rosey, and there certainly (to my regret) was no Father/Daughter dance.
This reconciliation and release of, what I think was much shame and embarrassment for him, was so necessary and relieved me beyond words. He now knew that I wasn’t holding anything against him… after all these years… all because of a few Qigong healing sessions. I didn’t do talk therapy (yet), wasn’t regularly meditating (yet)... just went for some healing and in the process not only healed myself but someone else who carried a great deal of shame with them. Unbelievable. Perhaps even more unbelievable is that less than a year later in June 2015 my father took his life. As complicated and shocking this statement may be to you, especially if you haven’t experienced suicide, I must share that I believe my healing journey set my father free. He had great difficulty being a human on this earth. Though he always worked hard, held it together, was handsome, healthy and athletic, some pains of this earthly existence were too much for him. His being set free, though, was quite traumatic for all of us as you can imagine.
Which of course leads to the next stage of my healing journey. With three small children, a stressful job (renovating a high school for completion less than six weeks after his death), and still loads of unresolved emotional experiences I was thwarted into two years of shock, anger, disconnection, despair, impending doom, you name it, I went through it. Though I was receiving qigong healings during the first two years after his death, I think because I was in shock, I wasn’t really open to or receiving the healings fully… though I KNOW it saved me and helped me keep going. After about year two of this experience I started to come out of shock and employed a tool box of therapies / healings. I started traditional psychotherapy… where I had another breakthrough… that after all this I was basically still emotionally incompetent!
I continued on my journey of reconnecting with my emotions and healing tiny parts of me at a time. And then yet again I was pushed not so gently into my next phase of healing. Still working my very stressful job in the fall of 2018 I got quite sick. My workplace was toxic, workload unbearable and homelife (with three still young kids) was too great for me to hold. My body said “no more!”. And I got sick. Sicker than I’d ever been. I was in so much pain I couldn't walk. Now, for context I had a 10lb baby who turned while she was coming out at home with no meds AND this was the most pain I’d ever been in.
That day I shut off all notifications on my computer and phone, to this day my phone does not make noise (so I’m screwed if I lose it… oh well!) and stopped drinking coffee and alcohol AND started meditating! You see… the coffee and alcohol were eliminated as part of an elimination diet to figure out what was wrong with me, and the mediation… well I just knew I needed to do it! After months of elimination, tests, procedures… the Doctor told me the only thing they could find wrong with me was my stress level. Great. Well not so great, but great that it wasn’t more serious. So I decided to stay committed to giving up caffeine and alcohol which actually were both very easy for me… I think the level of pain I was in trumped any withdrawal symptoms.
I was not a naturally “good” meditator. But I committed to sitting every single day and eventually… like they say it got easier over time. Then in March of 2019 I decided to do some qigong training. This intensified my love and cognizance that qigong was a crucial part of my life, deepened my sitting meditation practice and took my healing to the next level. I was now able to function in that same toxic workplace without it bothering me. Don’t get me wrong, I’m human and I still get mad, upset, etc. But I’m generally able to redirect my attention, focus on a mantra or grounding sensation and get through most things without rage, without sickness, without screwing up my cortisol levels!
Qigong and wuji gong (our 12 step form) are accessible to all of us. With some practice and teaching, wuji gong can be done on your own at home or on a nature walk at work. It is truly a magical practice. The Qi (energy) is alive in all of us. It is free, all knowing and ready to lead us if we can just listen to it.
Maureen Funke
Living Your Qi LLC
@livingyourqi
203.530.5156